Understanding Christian Courtship (3) by Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Topic: Understanding Christian Courtship (3)
Welcome to the third teaching on Understanding Christian Courtship. I am sure that what you have learnt so far has been of great blessing to you. May you begin to enjoy your courtship as you put those facts into practice in Jesus’ Name! This week, I will be teaching on “Some major characteristics of a good Christian courtship.” These are necessary things to watch out for in your courtship as it will help you to know whether you are on the right track or not.
The bedrock of marriage is agreement and the first stage takes place in courtship. There must be an agreement between you and your partner from day one. Both of you must have agreed to spend the rest of your lives together in marriage. Both of you must be able to agree on pressing issues that concern your future together. God’s Word in Amos 3:3 says: Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Where there is no agreement, there will be confusion, disorderliness, disunity and that home will definitely become a workshop for the devil. A solid agreement will go a long way in ensuring the success of your relationship, even after your courtship period.
Character is like smoke; no matter how hard you pretend, it cannot be hidden. You and your partner must have good Christian characters that speak. Both of you must be God-fearing and doers of God’s commandment on truthfulness, commitment to the things of God like fellowship, Kingdom service, tithing, offerings etc. This is why God commands that you join yourself with someone of like belief and faith. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
The character of the two of you must radiate the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Ephesians 5:9 and Galatians 5:22-23. A good Christian character will guide your partner from acting the way any natural person would, thereby saving you from sorrows and hurts.
A Christian courtship must progressively culminate in engagement and then marriage. Proverbs 4:18 says: But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. This means constant progress/advancement is being made towards your goal i.e. marriage. Therefore, progress must be made physically, spiritually, materially, mentally and in every other area.
Lack of progress leads to defilement (Proverbs 13:12) or stagnation and ‘stagnant water, they say, stinks.’ The success of every good courtship period is that it should end in something more meaningful.
Many begin quite well in the spirit and end up messing themselves up by engaging in the works of the flesh. Galatians 5:19-21 lists the various works of the flesh. Since courtship is not marriage, you have no marital rights over each other. God’s Word in Hebrews 13:4 says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled… What you do with the bed during courtship is laying a foundation for what your marriage will be like when you get into it.
There is no room for sexual relationship or anything that leads to it while in courtship. Yes, you intend to marry, but as long as you are not yet married, it is sinful for you to go into it. Pre-marital sex does not only defile, it also destroys trust, honour and respect from your spouse in marriage. It is like a wound. Even when it’s healed, the scar still remains.
With the AIDS scare terrorizing the world today; even the skeptical world has discovered the need for purity. It has suddenly realized that there is no safer precaution than choosing a life of purity and chastity. It is possible to say ‘No!’ to pre-marital sex. Just choose to seek the Lord uncompromisingly and He will preserve the treasure He created in your bodies.
The misery of promiscuity can be avoided, if you would accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. You can accept him right now by saying this prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through [email protected], 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).